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I sometimes starve myself because I feel I dont deserve food?

I sometimes starve myself because I feel I dont deserve food? Topic: I sometimes starve myself because I feel I dont deserve food?
July 18, 2019 / By Petula
Question: I am 18, i live at home with my parents and we are not doing so well financial wise. I want to help but the job market is tough and it took me forever to find my job, and i havent started yet, but when i do i start with with only like six hours a week. I havent made anything yet and I dont feel like i contribute anything. We have little kids and I feel like when I eat i take away from them and I feel fat and worthless with myself anyways so when I eat it makes me feel ten times even worse like I dont need it like they do. I know this is a bad way to feel, and my mom doesnt make it better by telling me i contribute nothing, ever since we got off of our food stamps i have been eating less and less, and lost some weight, and now, now i just dont feel like i deserve food at all, I dont feel worthy of anything anyone can give me because I am just a lazy fat piece of **** who takes up space, and it feels almost good to me when I dont eat like I like the pain of it, and it makes me feel like it is what I deserve. Idk what is wrong with me, should i bring this up with a counselor when we discuss my already being treated depression, or could this be a sign of something more or what? I mean I know I have always felt low and unworthy of things in life, but it has never come down this bad. And i mean i shouldnt feel this way with my parents cuz i JUST BARELY graduated and turned 18, isn't it normal for many kids to still be at home at this point? I just feel so low. P.S, also self harming myself isnt a first for me, I have a tendancy to do things that are bad for me alot, i used to be a horrible horrible cutter, but i kept that a secret for so long, and that stopped a long time ago, and now I feel like this is arising, with my past of self hurting, could this get much worse? Do i maybe have some kind of masochism?
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Best Answers: I sometimes starve myself because I feel I dont deserve food?

Marley Marley | 9 days ago
First off, the person that you were 10 minutes ago is not the person that you are now. You are a changing, evolving human being. If you felt you were a "lazy fat piece of **** " before, there is no reason for you to feel you are now, or that you will be in the future. We all change. That is why we live. Second, starving yourself should not be an option. You require nutrition. Without it you will die. Your body cannot function soley off stored fatty tissue. It requires an assortment of various other substances to function, repair damage, maintain energy. If you starve it of these things it cannot help you get to where you need to be. Since money is tight for you at the moment, i suggest contacting a local food shelter. Many can be a great resource for learning about nutrition requirements and lower-cost foods that your body needs. Third, it is comendable that you want to help your family, especially with the situation as dire as it is, but have you thought about the aftermath? How will these young children feel about themselves later if they learn you endangered (or even lost) your own life to save theirs? You are part of a family, and that means taking care of EVERYONE, including yourself. There are other ways you can contribute if work is hard to find. Learn to use coupons and help your family determine a "food budget". Explore low cost eating alternatives and recipes that can strech those dollars even farther. Ask "What can I do to help you?" and be willing to do it. Last, you deffinatly need to bring this up with your counselor, maybe even your pharmacist if you are on medication. These feelings could be a side effect. Don't give up hope. Times like these can bring out the true character in people. You sound like you want to get through this. Be smart, be safe and be strong and the odds are in your favor that you will.
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Marley Originally Answered: often feel sick and dont know why?
The ANA test usually determines that an autoimmune disease is present, does not define which one, though many think it is the test for Lupus. Low BP and low Blood sugar can make you tired and dizzy, but it is important to look at the whole picture. I don't believe that it is all in your head, but it can be a long ride to a diagnosis. Best wishes. I know that this is not a huge help, but know that you are not alone in the search for answers.
Marley Originally Answered: often feel sick and dont know why?
It is important to see your doctor every 3 -6 months for checkups to make sure nothing new has popped up in the meantime since your last appoitment . Try keep up with the checkups and i am sure that will help to put your mind at rest .

Kyrsten Kyrsten
Mr. or Mrs. Zombie Attack, I work for an organization where people in recovery from negative behaviors come to learn how to speak publicly so they can tell their stories. I am a trainer/coordinator for this so I have to hear literally dozens of personal stories every week about depression, body image, self image, cutting, eating disorders, substance abuse, etc. It sounds to me like your starving yourself is actually a kind of self injury. Its something you HAVE to bring up with yuour counselor. You also should act now or as soon as possible. The reason I say it is urgent is because right now your not hurting yourself as bad as you may be in the near future if you don't cut this off immediatly. I hear people tell me the most horrible things that they've done to themselves and their stories always start with something less dramatic like what you're talking about right now. You don't want to keep going any farther down this trail. Tell your counselor, tell a friend, you deserve not just to eat but you deserve a happy life.
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Jemma Jemma
telephone a helpline for toddlers and tell them you % help Did you ever have good courting including your mum? if so perchance they are able that might assist you restoration it mutually as retaining you risk-free in case you pass to foster care it particularly is a secure place so you might get perspective on your concern . you've a good existence and get by way of this undesirable patch yet you % some help Ask for it , human beings do care, why else could they volunteer to assist.
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Jemma Originally Answered: How does nebraka deserve to go the gator bowl?
Oklahoma State will go to a better bowl than Nebraska. OU scored 4 TD's in the first five minutes against Nebraska- must be some kinda record! Nebraska has a fanatical following and travels better than ANY other team. I hope Nebraska gets to mop up on an SEC team down there in their own territory!

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